Skip to main content

Men Women Relationship in Nineteenth Century Bengal

A KALIGHAT painting, which developed in 19th century Bengal, depicts a Bengali babu with a concubine.


THE story begins like this. Dr Bilkis Rahman read the autobiography of noted author Mir Mosharraf Hossain and discovered a very happy life with his wife Bibi Kulsum. But when she examined the personal diary of Kulsum, she found a different picture. Kulsum described her mental predicaments due to her husband’s extramarital relationships and his lack of respect for her. This prompted Rahman to undertake a research study and find out the actual conditions of women in 19th century Bengal, compiling her findings in the book Unish Shatake Banglay Naripurush Shamparka.

Undivided Bengal comprised today’s Bangladesh and the Indian province of West Bengal in the 19th century and was under British rule. Hindus and Muslims represented a large majority of the population. At the beginning of the 19th century, religion played a vital role in determining the nature of relationships. Religious rules favoured men; women were given a lower position in both religions in terms of their relationship with men, right to property and social status. Rahman was surprised to discover that both Hinduism and Islam allowed men to have multiple wives, while a woman could have only a single husband. In addition, men were allowed to have sexual relationship with prostitutes, maids, concubines and other women.

Rahman also examines marriage deeds (kabinnama for Muslims and patipatra for Hindus), deeds of spouse livelihood support, wills, divorce letters, court records such as lawsuits related to marriages and property inheritance, deeds donation, loan agreements, and documents related to land exchange. Information was also obtained from autobiographies, letters, diaries, newspapers, periodicals, books and magazines, government records, reports of civil and criminal cases, magistrate reports, police reports, education reports, medical reports, district records, and census reports.

Rahman puts forth three theories explaining the nature of sexual relationship between men and women. The first theory postulates that the relationship between men and women is primarily based on physical relationship. A man looks at female body as a cultivable land. A child is the fruit of this process.

The second theory is based on feminism that denounces absolute domination by men. It recognises female freedom and independence. It states that a woman will decide whether she will participate in sexual intercourse with a man, and she can even choose a female partner for sexual gratification.

The third theory is based on equality between men and women. It postulates that physical attraction between a man and a woman is natural, and sexual relationship is a matter of choice and love between the two persons.


 Book by Dr. Bilkis Rahman titled as "Unish Shatake Banglay Naripurush                Shamparka"

At the beginning of 19th century, men-women relationship was based on the first theory. Thus a man would feel attracted only to a woman’s body and not to her as a person. There was no love in conjugal relations; the wife was treated as a machine to produce children.

Rahman also looks into childhood marriages and the tragedies that they led to. This type of marriage was quite common during that time. girls were married before the age of puberty. Hoimaboti Sen was married off to a 45-year-old man when she was a child of 10. She woke up with a startle and started screaming when her husband started to take off her clothes. Her husband used to have sex with a prostitute in their bedroom in her presence. An 11-year-old girl died after being raped by her husband. Another man beat his wife to death because she refused to have sex. 

This book also focuses on economic and social rights of women during that period. According to the Muslim law, a daughter was entitled to some of her father’s and husband’s property. But the Hindu law deprived the daughter of her father’s property. However, the father, in both Islam and Hinduism, had the option to donate his property to his daughter through a will before his death.

Towards the second half of the 19th century, men undertook several initiatives to ensure financial security of their wives and daughters, and married women became more conscious about their rights as wives. An examination of marriage deeds, divorce letters, and relevant court verdicts reveals that stringent conditions were included in these documents to protect the rights of women.

Rahman cites some specific marriage deeds where it was clearly mentioned that the husband would treat his wife with respectfully, allow her to visit her parents regularly and would not remarry without her permission. In the kabinnama, the husband would assure that he would not marry another woman, and even if he did, the first wife would have the power to divorce the second wife on behalf of her husband and the husband would accept it. If the husband had any children from his second wife, they would be deprived of his property. If the husband left the country and stayed overseas for four years, or did not have sexual intercourse with her for six months while living together with her, the wife had the right to divorce her husband. The condition of women in Muslim families was a little better. This book is as an invaluable document for future researchers on gender studies.

The Daily Star / Bangladesh.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

List of Documents Required for JMFC EXAM

Candidates preparing for JMFC keep copies of the followings documents List of documents: Graduation and LL.B:  Fresher Candidates- 1. Std. X mark sheet and passing certificate. 2. Std. XII mark sheet and passing certificate. 3. Graduation : last year mark sheet, passing          certificate, degree certificate 4. LLB and B.SL. LL.B. :       • Each SEMESTER mark sheet      • Final year passing certificate      • Third year passing certificate and final year passing certificate for 5 yr course students      • Degree certificate       • Sanad 5. Enrollment Id card 6. Domicile 7. Translation certificate given by College ( after prelims ) 8. LLM:       • Each year mark sheet       • Final year passing certificate      • Degree certificate (if you have)  9. Caste certificate and Non - creamy layer certificate for student appearing as Non creamy layer.  FOR PRACTITIONER :  1. Std. X mark sheet and passing certificate. 2. Std. XII mark sheet and passing certificate. 3. Graduation : last ye

Does caste change after marriage?

* A woman’s caste does not change after marriage. Caste is determined by birth. By default , the father’s caste is the child's caste. Marriage does not alter the caste of someone. So, OBC lady cannot become a SC just because she married a SC male. However, the children of them will belong to SC as the father is a SC. However, there are certain exception in case child of such wedlock ( father UR but mother Reserved) who is raised in reserved community and separated or absence of father presence, he may be treated reserved as per mother caste. There are many exceptions : 1. When orphan child is adopted by mother of reserve caste. 2. When generation of Indian father of reserve caste live outside of India ( with no caste system) and when grand children return to India which caste they will be.

"Indian Marriages" in the context of dowry related violence

     Vismaya Nair.  The recent  death   of 24-year-old medical student Vismaya Nair in the Indian state of Kerala has sparked widespread outrage and renewed discussions over  dowries   and domestic violence in India. Despite their illegality, dowries are largely seen as a source of pride and status among families on both sides. The dark underbelly of the practice includes discrimination against girls, femicide, abuse and endless violence against brides in the country. Vismaya’s death renewed the   clamour  for a permanent solution that would end the harmful practice. Dowry In India Unravelling the murky  origins  of dowry in India  is not easy . Dowries are essentially a payment made by the bride’s family in cash or goods in exchange for marriage. Women are expected to relinquish their  rights to inheritance or property  in exchange for a dowry, which many women are forced to accept because of family loyalty and fear of disputes. Women who refuse to offer a dowry often cannot wed and c